Yuri Lowell, I want your haaaiiiirrrr
by Kairikiani
Summary: Estelle gets drunk.  Yuri refuses to give up his babe magnet.  spoilers for the end of the game    Rated T for references to alcohol.


Author's note: I own nothing from Tales of Vesperia, not even the apple gels.

* * *

It had started out as a fairly boring day. After noon had passed and he came across no mayors feeding innocent children to lions or ancient world-destroying terrors ripping open the sky, Yuri assumed that the day would remain uneventful. The gods of fate had forgiven him for saying that they didn't exist, and had allowed him one day of sanity. Knowing all too well how rare a day of "normality" was for people like him, Yuri decided to take his chance and take Brave Vesperia out for a celebration. They'd saved the world twice already; it could spare them for a couple of hours.

This idea in and of itself wasn't too out of line. Even Flynn would have agreed that Brave Vesperia deserved a little time off after all it had accomplished. Had he been within hailing distance, he might have even come along. No, the complete and utter stupidity of the plan lay not in the timing, but in the location: the folksy little tavern in the side streets of Dahngrest, Sagitarrius. The members of Brave Vesperia had saved the bar multiple times by filling in as waitresses and waiters. Though the customers weren't always grateful, the owners were, especially after one particularly hectic night when the entire waiting staff had been out with Gobley flu. Not only did the owners let Brave Vesperia keep their uniforms, but they also pledged that the guild could eat there for free as often as they liked.

Yuri even had semi-honorable intentions. The place had surprisingly edible food and a pool table in the back, so the younger members could enjoy themselves without breaking the law. Plus, the bartender usually knew when a person had had enough drinks and was brave enough to say so. It was a safe, if not completely wholesome, environment. Yuri had just wanted to relax with his friends. He hadn't planned to corrupt anyone…much.

* * *

Estelle was mad. It was a happy kind of mad, but it was still…still angry. Ish. Or so she thought. Then again, she wasn't sure of much these days. For instance, she was SURE that she had ordered apple juice. But the drink in front of her didn't taste like the sweet, sugary goodness of Aunt Cidra's orchard. In fact, it didn't taste like fruit at all. It was bitter, and….and foamy.

Which made her mad. Oh, it made her so mad. But not so mad as Yuri. _Yuri, h_er "friend" sitting a few seats away. The air inside the bar had gotten much more humid since they first came in; it was so thick that she could hardly see Yuri as anything more than a purple smudge surrounded by giggling pink and sparkly blobs. Blobs that Estelle did not like.

A second purple smudge slumped into the stool beside her. "I tell ya, darlin, it just boggles the mind. How is it that every single lady in the bar goes after Yuri when they have this," the blob motioned to its chest, "paradigm of manliness ready and waiting' ?"

"Ish not fair," muttered Estelle.

The smudge looked surprised that someone had agreed with it for once. "Yeah. YEAH. I mean, would it kill him to share a little? It's not like he can have all of them."

Estelle took another bitter swig of her apple juice. "Pshh. If he tries, I'll shmack him."

The smudge paused for a bit and then chuckled darkly. "Oh really? Is a certain someone a little jealous?"

"I dunno nuthin 'bout the Summons, but I'm…I'm…I'm mad. Don't get it. Floozes wish the tinkly shkirts, hangin' on him like he's…like he's _shexy_ or summin."

"It's the hair. If there's anything you young folks can't resist, it's a thick head of hair shinier than your own."

Estelle glared over at the pink blobs. It was true; two pink and yellow blobs were winding Yuri's long dark hair around their fingers, while a third was sitting on his lap and braiding it.

The smudge next to her cackled. Estelled turned and squinted at the blob, hoping it'd be intimidated by her angry face. "Wha? Wha'sh sho funny?"

"Nothin, darlin. Say, if it's bugging' ya this much, why don't you go talk to him?

Talk to him. The idea boiled in Estelle's mind like whisky. "A peesh o' my mind." Yeah. Yeah. Because it wasn't fair, that he could lounge there all night with his stupid shiny hair and his stupid adoring fans, laughing and being happy when she was…she was over here. Alone. With no sexy haircut.

"Before you do, maybe you should take an apple drop to clear up that cold. Don't want a frog in your throat during your big speech."

Estelle slipped out of the stool and nearly crashed to the floor. Only her fast reflexes and the handy counter had stopped her from falling flat on her face. She must have been sitting too long; her legs were still asleep. "'Na, no frog. Jus jush."

"Pardon?"

"Jush wash too hot. Made my lipsh numb." Estelle tried to shake some feeling into her legs, but just lost her balance and hit her tailbone against the seat instead.

"You mean cold, don'tcha? Hot apple juice woulda just burned ya." The smudge inspected her cup. "…Estelle?"

"Yeah?" Estelle swatted the air behind her until she found the stool and pushed herself up.

The smudge stared deep into her cup. "Sweetheart…Maybe you shouldn't talk to Yuri. I…I think you should sit down while I…uh….uh…" The smudge turned and shouted at three smaller smudges standing around the pool table in the corner. "Judith! Darlin, I need some help here!"

"In a minute, Raven. I'm winning."

"But the bartender-"

"If the bartender says you've had enough, then you've had enough."

"No, I'm fine. But Estelle-"

"Don't bother Estelle, you pervert. She's not old enough to buy you drinks anyway."

"But-"

"C'mon, Raven, just let us play our game."

"But Estelle- Estelle? Where'd you- oh boy."

* * *

Yuri had three waitresses massaging his biceps, two ruby-lipped sisters stroking his hair, and a semi-professional actress in his lap. All of them single, all of them under twenty-six, and all of them willing to believe that he had single-handedly saved the king of Austeria from fifty-two assassins. He was having a mind-numbingly good time.

"Yuriiii Lowweelllll!"

And like all the good things in Yuri's life, it ended long before he had finished enjoying himself. He instinctively grabbed his sword, ready to draw at a moment's notice. The screech had been so high and feral that for a moment Yuri wondered if Zagi had managed to cheat death yet again and stalk him all the way here.

But no, it was just Estelle. A very drunk Estelle, but Estelle nonetheless. He released the grip on his sword. The princess staggered forward, and the women around Yuri skittered for cover behind his seat.

Everyone in Brave Vesperia had their own unique approach to dealing with unpleasant surprises. Raven talked his way around them, Karol ran from them, Judith stabbed them, and Rita doused them with fire. Yuri dealt with a particularly sticky problem by pretending it didn't exist and that everything was normal.

"Hey there, Estelle. How's your night going?"

The princess teetered into as upright a position as her muddled coordination would allow. The fifteen feet from her stool to Yuri's had winded her considerably, making her breathing loud and ragged. _Inhale. Exhale._ "Not." _ Inhale. Exhale. _"Good."

"Really. I'm sorry to hear that."

Her eyes flared. "Cuz you."

"Me?"

Her face blotched into three different shades of red, and she nodded solemnly. "You got too many floozes."

The actress shot up behind him. "Floozies! How dare-" The other women hauled her back down and shushed her. They'd no doubt heard rumors of the princess' strength when she was calm. They did not wish to be the ones to tell the tale of the girl's power when she was in a drunken fury.

"They like you. Cuz your hair. Ish long. And shiny."

"Thank you, Estelle," said Yuri, keeping his voice soft and unthreatening. "I'm glad everyone likes my hair."

The princess thrust out her hand like a schoolteacher confiscating a toy sword. "Give it."

"I'm sorry Estelle, but I can't give you my hair."

Her face flushed into a mild maroon. Evidently she had not expected him to refuse. Tears pricked the edges of her eyes. "But…but…I_ need _it."

Yuri paused. A calm, rational voice wasn't going to snap her out of this. Would she fight back if he tried to lead her to the inn? Should he force her out of the bar anyway? Or should he sit here and let her tell him what she truly, deep in her heart, thought of him? Did he even want to know?

The floozies apparently did. A waitress in cotton-candy curls popped her head above Yuri's knee. "Why…why do you need his hair?"

Her eyes, her nose, everything was streaming now. "Cause -hic- cause Yuri's here, with girlsh shtroking hish hair, and compli-compli- shaying nishe thingsh, and laughing, and I'm over there drinking apple jush, and…and…"

Yuri felt his heart crack a little. "Estelle…"

Estelle snapped her head up in a jade-eyed fury. "AND I WANT FLOOZES TOO!" A delicate manicured hand smudged tears across her cheeks. "Man-floozes. Muffin-shtuds," she muttered.

Yuri opened his mouth to speak, but, realizing that he had absolutely nothing to say to that, shut it again.

The princess sniffed and wobbled a little closer. "Pleash? I…I jus wanna borrow it. I wanna have shexy hair too."

"Estelle," Yuri sighed. "Your hair is plenty sexy. Right ladies?" The girls stared blankly at Yuri, until the waitresses (who were used to saying whatever would get them the biggest tips) caught on.

"Oh, yes, yes. It's gorgeous, sweetie."

"Cute."

"Stylish, even."

Estelle smiled weakly, leaning against the counter for support. The booze was getting to her. "No ish not. Ish pink and shtubby."

A chorus of cooing denials rang up from behind Yuri.

"C'mon, Estelle. Plenty of guys like short hair." Yuri pointed to himself and grinned. "And I know at least one who's wild about pink."

One of the waitresses perked up. "Really?" The sisters nudged her into silence.

Yuri patted his knee. Estelle obliged, hopping onto his lap like a child. "Really."

"But then…then why aren't any talking to me?"

"That's because there aren't any in this bar. It's just a bunch of middle-aged fogeys. Karol and I are the only guys under thirty-five."

Estelle peered blindly around the room. "Ish too foggy in here. Are you sure?"

"Positive. Otherwise they'd be all over you."

The princess leaned against Yuri, letting her head sag onto his shoulder. "Oh. Dash okay den." She yawned. "Why am I sho tired?"

"You've had a long day. You can sleep if you want."

"But what if a muffin-shtud walks in?"

"I'll wake you up."

Estelle's eyes fluttered. "Promish?"

Yuri patted her head and smiled. "Promise."

And with that, the princess fell into an uneventful sleep.

* * *

Writing from the perspective of a drunk Estelle was...interesting. But hopefully I made it semi-comprehensible. If I made any embarrassing mistakes, let me know. And yes, I know I have trouble with endings. Still, reviews are appreciated. :)


End file.
